Tag Archive | low self esteem

Were you Dumped for Having Hirsutism?!


This is very old photoshoot of me. I was portraying a sad girl, waiting for her love to return.

I was looking at some research for my blog and I noticed someone searched the term “dumped for having hirsutism” and came upon my blog.

When I saw this, I just looked at the search term for a solid 5 minutes and thought about it all day long.

Outside of everything they may say, what if they really cannot handle your condition and simply are not saying so? Yes, I know. The thought that that may indeed be true may hurt you to the core.

Trust me when I said I been there over…and over…and over.

And realizing that at 30 years old I am not even dating anyone seriously tells me maybe it is true that some guys may cease to think I am attractive because of my condition.

It doesn’t bother me as much as it did years ago but it certainly has not left my thoughts. Heck, at one point I was so desperate to find out why I was having so much bad luck at dating, I even wrote into radio shows in hopes they will read my letter! (Has yet to happen!)

I am looking back over the last 10 years of the guys I took seriously in dating and their reasons for dumping me (Yes, I was usually getting dumped, not doing the dumping) include the following:

  1. Not ready for a relationship, I still want to act unprioritized with life, including my future with you
  2. I’m an asshole, I don’t want to change for you (or my kids!)
  3. My own self-esteem is jacked up
  4. I’m just plum dumb and blatantly insecure with my own life

So when I look back on my exes, clearly I dodged a bunch of bullets! But it still does not change the fact that they did not give the relationship a chance.

And Ladies, understand something: they did not give the relationship a chance because they simply didn’t fucking feel like it! I can promise you it had almost nothing to do with the fact that you are hirsute.

If you know you tried to manage your condition and he knew this and still opted to give you the boot, he was insecure from the start. You do not need another self-esteem killer in your life! You have repair your own!

And I am sure he was not the cat’s meow 100%. Probably had crooked teeth, dimples in his ass, a little weiner, hell, he might have had hairy ass nuts himself! Who the hell wants to go down on that shit!?

Hell, your own momma probably didn’t like him. My mom did not like most of my exes, and my most recent ex she believed was gay!

So, ladies, do not immediately blame your hirsutism, or PCOS or whatever condition you may have that is causing your hirsutism to get you down in the dating game. There are plenty of women in your shoes who don’t have hirsutism that cannot seem to have luck in love either.

Instead of worrying about a man loving you, learn to love yourself first. Learn to build and love your own life, flaws and all.

I was recently given the boot by a guy who actually loved the idea of this blog. He had no problem with my condition; didn’t even notice it! We were both single parents and appeared to enjoy each others company…but after only three dates, he decided to go for a single girl with no kids. Talk about a slap in the face. (Not to mention he was technically still married!) Long story short,  I had to interest in dealing with people like him.

And honestly, being dumped gives you clarity. After I have been dissed, I start to realize everything I gave my dates entirely too much benefit of the doubt and realized I did not like him as much as I once believed! Maybe you should do the same ladies!

In closing, I want to leave you with a great song by Neyo! I feel like he is talking directly to me in this video! The lyrics are so to the core of my heart! I know you will relate to it too!! Enjoy!

 

Things to say to strangers when they point out your hirsutism!


TOP THINGS TO SAY TO STRANGERS WHO POINT OUT YOUR HIRSUTISM!

  1. Hello!
  2. (Giggle) Yes, I am I am hairy! I’ve always been!
  3. My hairiness runs in the family!
  4. Unfortunately, I have a condition that causes it. Not much I can about it!
  5. What the fuck are you looking at?!
  6. Yeah, well I was considering laser hair removal. You should look into it too!
  7. (Giggle) Yeah, I am hairy but my boyfriend/husband actually likes it!
  8. Too bad I’m not in Europe. It’s an aphrodiasiac over there!
  9. Do you need a picture since you’re staring so hard at me?!
  10. Bitch, yo momma hairy!

Feel free to add to my list!

Anyone who understand the hirsutism condition understands it is not the easiest thing to cover up.

Even after constant shaving and waxing and what not, you cannot hide that vicious 5 o’clock shadow, especially for us who have severe hirsutism like myself.

I remember working at a grocery retail store and I could feel some people’s eyes on my sideburns or my neck because they were staring so damn hard.

It made me feel like a freak, like “Am I THAT abnormal?! I know I am a pretty girl, but I just have this one flaw that sticks out like a sore thumb and some people cannot just let it be!”

It made me feel unattractive, like the world knew I was odd looking. Like I was the only woman in a 100 mile radius with an excessive hair growth issue.

Needless to say, I cried alot to myself, even as an adult.

Most people just stared, hardly ever saying anything. My issue was they were blatantly up in my damn face about it. Those were very rude and uncomfortable moments for me.

But the crazy thing is this: when I got a comment, it was from a man, and it was never really all that bad.

I remember working at this retail store in college and an older white gentleman made the comment: “You sure are a hairy little cutie pie!”

While I couldn’t help but to be the slightest insulted, I kinda liked the fact that he still saw beauty through my flaws. I giggled and told him thanks. Then he went on to chat about his mother being a very hairy Italian lady and some of his sisters being abnormally hairy on some parts of their bodies.

Another girl, who suffered from hirsutism, was strategic enough to pass me a note stating “I have hirsutism too!” I looked up at her and smiled and we chatted about our struggles with it while I collected her purchase.

I love talking to strangers about my hirsutism. I feel like I am educating them. I feel like I am reminding them that I am indeed normal and that I am indeed a fairly approachable, fairly attractive full blooded woman who has a vagina and ovaries and gave birth to children too.

Too often, people cannot help but to question a woman’s gender if her hirsutism is exposed and if it is robust enough to be mistaken for a man, which is pretty sad. But oh well, not everyone is born ignorant-less!!

 

Hirsutism and Bullying


Now this topic hits home for me.

My hirsutism has plagued me for years, ever since middle school. And trust me I have heard my share of torment.

My own self-loathe was bad enough but having other people point out the hideously obvious of course made me feel even worse.

Especially the feeling when the guy you’re crushing points out your  sideburns! That asshole!

This article made me want to cry. I really felt something very deep and real for Elena and any other girls suffering from hirsutism. It also makes me happy to know that there are permanent solutions to hirsutism. May not be solutions you like, but solutions DO exist. Here is an excerpt from the article:

“Like many people entering puberty, Elena struggled with body changes which included excessive hair growth on her face. Classmates cruelly called her names like “Elvis,” making fun of the sideburns that grew on her face. As a teen with few choices, she resorted to combing her hair over her face, shaving and hiding her true self in shame. “I started feeling awful, and I actually started going with the wrong crowd because I had such low self-esteem,” she said. Elena also says her excess hair has held her back from opportunities in her life.

She’s not alone. In fact, hirsutism, or excessive hair growth, is a common problem, and one that is permanently treatable through electrolysis. Elena, who says her Puerto Rican heritage and genetics contributed to her unwanted hair, discovered electrolysis at age 17, “I was walking with my head held high.”

But after the birth of her children, she struggled with excess hair in new places. Now a single parent, her budget can be tight. Yet Elena believes electrolysis is worth the investment in herself, and goes to Queens regularly for her treatments. “I feel like I can conquer the world after electrolysis,” she said. “It is important to take care of yourself, because we give so much, especially as women, so I’m making electrolysis a priority for me.”

Read more about bullying and Elena’s story here.

Like Elena, I heard it in school, at home, in public by strangers. It is not a good way to live and it is certainly not a good way to allow yourself to be treated.

I really don’t think people realize the damage, or additional or potential damage, they do when they decide to think it’s OK to verbally abuse other people because they have nothing better to do.

And to know that they are abusing someone who has a condition they cannot control just makes them lower than ant shit and think it’s funny. That doesn’t just go for hirsutism. It can be a number of things: weight, skin color, hair loss, a type of handicap, etc.

These fucking jerks don’t realize that, while uncommon, hirsutism can also be a sign of cancer…..Ignorant dipshits…I know!

I certainly had days when those comments made me want to disappear…literally. Transfer to another school, move in with other family members to avoid ridicule….not realizing that people will make fun of my condition anywhere I go.

The growing problem of bullying in the world is a real one. I hear countless stories of young people killing themselves because someone is tormenting them so bad, their very will to live is depreciating.

Some people think hirsutism is nothing but it can severely damage a young girl’s self-love, especially if she has no one around to care enough to help her get some help or help her manage whatever is keeping her from feeling beautiful. We all need some encouragement, especially when dealing with hormones!!!

I will admit, I did not get tormented THAT much but some comments that truly did upset me and sent me home crying even as an adult will stick with me for the rest of my life. I don’t think no one in my family or immediate social circle realize how much I cried because I simply could not understand why I was not “normal.”

Reading this article made my mission so clear with this blog: I want to help women, especially young girls understand that life is not a wrap because some anus nut said so or because no one else cares to help them understand their condition(s) and mange it.

This entire blog is about managing what many women find to be unmanageable because it can be. And they can have a chance at normalcy in life too. And with that notion, they are more confident in themselves and their conditions. I know I am! I mean, who else you know takes pics of their furball areas on their bodies!!??

And furthermore; it will give them the maturity to simply ignore insults and bullies. Maybe that new found confidence will help her take up some karate classes and learn to effectively whip someone’s ass for running their damn mouth in the first fucking place!

Thanks for reading furballs!

I’m Sexy (uhh…hairy!) and I know it! *Humor*


This is not a long blog ladies and some gentlemen!

We are flawed. Fuck it.

Ladies, we will always believe there is at least one thing wrong with our bodies. We all have some level of vanity!

And some vanity is healthy, I believe! I mean, you have to know your’re the shit! (Just don’t go over-board with it, proclaiming you shit gold and piss diamonds and feel you’re entitled to the world when you are still very flawed your damn self! Hell, I’m a pretty girl with a beard! If you ever see me walking down the street acting like the world owes me a box of chocolates, I’m giving you full permission to punch me right in my titty.)

But feeling generally good about yourself and your body is a must at being happy. You have to be content with you and where you have gotten in life. If that is fucked up, do something about it. Find a better job, take classes to improve your education (this one is very serious!), improve your social circle; improve your money habits (also important!) work on the shit that defines you’re own personal wealth, you feel me?

Improve on those things that make you a decent, productive member of society first, not waiting around for a rich old man or woman, or worse, a dysfunctional government to cut you a damn check every month. Find your own way!

Once the difficult stuff is done or you did your very best at improving it, you work on the stuff that’s actually fun!

And make sure you make these changes in that order. Work on the truly important shit first because there is no beauty in being fly and a broke ass at the same time.

Back to the fun stuff, do something that makes you feel good! For example, I recently dyed my hair and it actually made me feel good that one, it came out pretty hot and two, I don’t look fucked up!

In my case however; it’s hirsutism! Finding ways to manage my condition makes me feel there is hope to my fucked up hormones! And plus it simply reminds me that I am flawed, yet human and that no two people are created the same. Hirsutism is simply my story.

But another thing that makes me smile is….being naked! I love it! Ass and titties flopping all over the place in my home! I LOVE IT! And once I trimmed up my vicious happy trail, Amazonian bikini line and ingrowns under my neck, ya know,  I look quite lovely butterballed!

I certainly don’t believe I am God’s Gift to women…I mean I can’t! I got MAN features and barely boobs to fit a B-cup bra! (Yes, I have no problem dissing myself!)

But in honor of knowing you’re beautiful ladies, take a picture of yourself doing something that makes you smile! Being butt ass naked makes me smile, but since I’m too chicken shit to plaster naked photos of myself on the internet, I will post a recent photo of me in my bathroom in a nice bikini! And Here it is!!

I’m sexy (err…hairy!) and I Know it!

I know it’s cheap and low budget but who cares?! It makes me feel good to know I look nice knowing the condition I am dealing with and have been dealing with since 7th grade.

It’s quite alright to know your sexy ladies, believe it, live it and breathe it. You have to carry some confidence about yourself. I mean who wants to listen to “Oh I’m too skinny! Oh I’m too fat! Oh what if he sees my ingrowns!” all fucking day long!? Handle that shit and go live your life!

Because life is beautiful. Enjoy it and it will enjoy you! Also enjoy this little number by LMFAO!

Ok…I’m done being self centered for the night! Let me take my furry ass to bed!

Thanks for reading! Stay Beautiful!