I was looking at some research for my blog and I noticed someone searched the term “dumped for having hirsutism” and came upon my blog.
When I saw this, I just looked at the search term for a solid 5 minutes and thought about it all day long.
Outside of everything they may say, what if they really cannot handle your condition and simply are not saying so? Yes, I know. The thought that that may indeed be true may hurt you to the core.
Trust me when I said I been there over…and over…and over.
And realizing that at 30 years old I am not even dating anyone seriously tells me maybe it is true that some guys may cease to think I am attractive because of my condition.
It doesn’t bother me as much as it did years ago but it certainly has not left my thoughts. Heck, at one point I was so desperate to find out why I was having so much bad luck at dating, I even wrote into radio shows in hopes they will read my letter! (Has yet to happen!)
I am looking back over the last 10 years of the guys I took seriously in dating and their reasons for dumping me (Yes, I was usually getting dumped, not doing the dumping) include the following:
- Not ready for a relationship, I still want to act unprioritized with life, including my future with you
- I’m an asshole, I don’t want to change for you (or my kids!)
- My own self-esteem is jacked up
- I’m just plum dumb and blatantly insecure with my own life
So when I look back on my exes, clearly I dodged a bunch of bullets! But it still does not change the fact that they did not give the relationship a chance.
And Ladies, understand something: they did not give the relationship a chance because they simply didn’t fucking feel like it! I can promise you it had almost nothing to do with the fact that you are hirsute.
If you know you tried to manage your condition and he knew this and still opted to give you the boot, he was insecure from the start. You do not need another self-esteem killer in your life! You have repair your own!
And I am sure he was not the cat’s meow 100%. Probably had crooked teeth, dimples in his ass, a little weiner, hell, he might have had hairy ass nuts himself! Who the hell wants to go down on that shit!?
Hell, your own momma probably didn’t like him. My mom did not like most of my exes, and my most recent ex she believed was gay!
So, ladies, do not immediately blame your hirsutism, or PCOS or whatever condition you may have that is causing your hirsutism to get you down in the dating game. There are plenty of women in your shoes who don’t have hirsutism that cannot seem to have luck in love either.
Instead of worrying about a man loving you, learn to love yourself first. Learn to build and love your own life, flaws and all.
I was recently given the boot by a guy who actually loved the idea of this blog. He had no problem with my condition; didn’t even notice it! We were both single parents and appeared to enjoy each others company…but after only three dates, he decided to go for a single girl with no kids. Talk about a slap in the face. (Not to mention he was technically still married!) Long story short, I had to interest in dealing with people like him.
And honestly, being dumped gives you clarity. After I have been dissed, I start to realize everything I gave my dates entirely too much benefit of the doubt and realized I did not like him as much as I once believed! Maybe you should do the same ladies!
In closing, I want to leave you with a great song by Neyo! I feel like he is talking directly to me in this video! The lyrics are so to the core of my heart! I know you will relate to it too!! Enjoy!