Tag Archive | finances

How to Have the Life you Want…While Being a Broke Ass Single Mom!


Courtesy of zadishaefreeman.com

Well this is the life I want:

I want to have a successful book detailing my hirsutism struggle and the various ways to deal with everything concerning excessive hair growth.

I want to have a successful electrolysis and laser hair removal salon. Not a huge one; just one I can operate part time.

I want to not have to work in military contracting EVER again! Ugh…that’s a whole other blog right there!!!

I want to have a nice sized house I purchased, with cash. (I hate loans and debt!)

I want to pay off majority, or all of the 100k I owe in student loans. Yes, I said that right….100k!!!!

I want to work for myself and a success story and not have to worry about how to fund vacations and my kid’s future educations.

How will I get there? How will I pay off my debt and my live the life I want? It seems impossible on my salary of (roughly) 48k yearly.

Most would think I make a good salary as a single person, which I do….now as a single mom…..eehhh…..

Considering my bills per month (rent, power bill, gas, etc. etc.) I have roughly 1k left to just…have.

That is not including the randomness I have to deal with (leisure, toys for the kids, some shit falling apart in the house that I have to pay for, car repairs)

So what does that mean? Basically, much like most people, I’M FUCKING BROKE!

But all is not lost for me or my dreams.

I am expecting a lovely tax refund (one of the perks of being a single parent). Let’s say that refund will be 3k.

I have a 3k surplus I intend on NOT touching. After all, I want to write a book (which, even if going the independent route, may cost me a couple thousands of dollars).

I found an electrolysis school which cost 4k.

So to start my dreams, I need to save, at least, 6k (the book and electrolysis school).

I am not including the cost to actually establish salon space for myself. Hell, I am just trying to find a way to pay for the school.

The option of asking my parents for the money is there but I rather find my own way! But if I get desperate, I will not be too proud to beg AT ALL!

So, how do I save the additional few grand I need? I already know I will be expecting a healthy refund of 3k (estimation).

So what do I do? I only save around 1k a month.

Here’s what you do….yes, it’s going to sound painful, but no pain, no gain, right?!

HOW TO HAVE THE LIFE YOU WANT WHILE BEING A BROKE ASS SINGLE MOM:

  1. You cannot be ashamed to do the Peanut Better Jelly Time Dance! Yes, like…literally. Eat like you are on food stamps (no offense to anyone in of public assistance. I’ve been on Medicaid myself!) Eat like you seriously cannot afford it. Don’t be scared to Ramen Noodle things up a bit either! Bottom line, act like fast food and take out do not exists! Cook at home more. As a single mom, I know that’s difficult. But you have to try. Here’s a tip single moms: buy the fast food for the kids, but not you. Just don’t make it a habit.
  2. Don’t be afraid to let people know you are on a financial diet. Your coworkers asking to take you out to lunch need to know that or if you decide to go, buy something very simple and inexpensive like an appetizer and not a full course meal.
  3. Don’t be afraid to let people you are dating know you are on a financial diet. Hell, he may fall for you even more once he realizes you are financially responsible!
  4. Don’t drive too many places. If you don’t need to make that business trip or trip to meet up with friends at a bar, then don’t. Having a meeting over the phone if possible or invite friends to your house for drinks. And tell their freeloading asses to BYOB!
  5. Entertain your kids more the free way. Parks, walks, rides, window shop, or hell, my kid’s enjoy the double seated shopping carts at Target. They like riding around in that for hours!
  6. Take your lunch to work. Eat fruit for lunch. Go to Food Lion of a can of fruit or canned chicken or soup as opposed to Burger King.
  7. Take your car to a professional car repair person, not a repair shop. Someone with a good reputation in working on cars will save you A TON! But make sure they have a good track record first. Just don’t trust any friend of a friend of a friend. That goes for repairs on your house as well.
  8. Pay as many bills as you can at the same time. That’s the fastest way to get them out of your hair.
  9. Work from home more. If you have the option to clock in hours at home, do it, especially if you can rack in some overtime. Or it will at least keep you from going crazy on the job while dealing with the stress of finances.
  10. Get more active. Clean the house more, vaccuum the floor more, just get more active with whatever! That why you don’t have to deal with spending money all the time.

I plan on establishing these tips in my own financial life so I can afford the life I eventually want.

I will keep you up to date about how it works out!

To appreciate being Rich, respect the theory of BROKE ASS! And Stocks for Beginners! *For Single Income Homes*


Though not related to hirsutism, I did just have an enlightening conversation with a sorority sister of mine and fellow struggling parent and I can proclaim the following very rhetorical statement:

IF YOU CANNOT AFFORD IT, YOU CANNOT AFFORD IT. PERIOD. STOP ARGUING WITH YOURSELF AND COMPARING YOURSELF TO PEOPLE WHO GOT WHAT YOU DON’T. IT’S EXTREMELY LIKELY THEY’RE BROKE ASSES TOO IN SOME WAY! SOME OF THE MOST FINANCIALLY ILL PEOPLE SPEND SO MUCH ON THE MOST FINANCIALLY DEPRECIATORY SHIT!

This topic also came to mind when I was debating screaming and bitching to T-Mobile about my bill. A nice gentleman succeeded in changing my mind and putting me on a much cheaper plan while keeping most of my services.

I also gave Direct TV and Capital One a mouthful too!

Then it dawned on my bitchy ass that I was my own worse financial enemy. I was living like I am NOT a single mother!

The fact of the matter is is that if you are in my position as a single parent or as the only breadwinner of the house, you have to live within your means. Period. It’s not Obama, Romney, Democrats, Republicans, the Boogie man under your beds fault that your finances are in disarray!

If barely affording gas is a pain, why the fuck are you driving? If you are not taking your kids to school, taking yourself to school, going to work, or responding to some type of other obligations, Imma need for you to park it at home.

If your man or girl wants to see you, have them haul their ass to your crib. If they got issues with you having some money problems at the moment, why are you with their superficial asses in the first place?!

And if you’re going on a date for the first time and you cannot afford dinner for at least yourself (this is for men and women!) Imma need for you to make that an ice cream and coffee date!

If you can’t afford to spend $10 a day on lunch at work, Imma need for you to bring some oodles and noodles for a while. Respectfully decline your coworkers offer out to lunch and simply tell them you are on a financial diet. Most will probably respect you for it. And if you decide to go, get an appetizer or two. If you need more than that for just lunch, you may need more than just a financial diet!

Why are you buying clothes and shoes (this is for women AND men) and you really don’t go no damn where? The bar? The club? Your mommas? I mean, why are you so self-absorbed with shit that is going to get ice cream or grease or spit or baby piss or cum on it and it’s done anyway!?

If you can dodge name brand ANYTHING, do it. I was in Walgreen’s one day and was told by an associate that many of the name brand companies make the generic brands anyway. Hence, I never again purchased Cover Girl eyeliner after that day!

But it’s that theory on a larger scale that can make the world of difference in your financial health. For example, I know, as a government contractor, I could afford a luxury line sedan or truck. But I know even better as a government contractor WITH TWO KIDS, I can THINK I can afford a luxury line sedan or truck!

Another example, I am seriously considering a Chevy Traverse, but I REALLY want a Buick Lacrosse……but I can AFFORD a Chevy Traverse! End of Story!

Do you see my point?

Yet another example, I am ready to purchase a house but I am in fear of affording repairs and what not. I know rent, at least now and days, is a pain in the ass to pay for. If you are not confident about it, don’t put a dime into it.

STOCKS FOR  DUMB ASSES LIKE ME!

OK another topic for me: investing! I don’t want to write this like I am talking to elementary students, but in order for me to really learn what the hell I was doing with stocks, I had to get real “See. Spot. Run.” with it!!!

Here are some basic steps I used to educate myself on stocks:

  1. Figure out what I like and what I wouldn’t mind investing in. I love Victoria Secret. Victoria Secret is owned by Limited Brands.  I invest in Limited Brands since it is publicly traded. I  appreciate energy. I use it. I like it. I would like to own %.000000001 percent of it (at least at first). I invest in it. Shell and BP have IPOs (initial public offers) too; have had them for years.
  2. Find out what these companies ticker symbol is.
  3. This step is two parts. Your job surely offers a retirement plan through investment company. I have worked with Fidelity and Principal. Depending on the circumstances of your job, you can have the option to invest in 401k and an IRA or just a 401k. At my current employer, I do not have the IRA option, but I did with my former. A 401k is for retirement and an IRA is more so for general investing.
  4. Open your account and put money in it. Starting out, you will be putting your money likely into a money market/savings account.
  5. As you accumulate more money into your money market/savings account with whatever investment company you choose, you can put your money where you really want it. (i.e. Limited Brands, Shell, BP, etc.)
  6. Ensure you have enough to buy the stock. If you only have $400 in your money market and one stock of BP costs $350, please don’t buy it. (Do we need to visit my previous examples again!?)
  7. Pay attention to fees. With most investment companies, they will charge fees for every purchase of stock you make.
  8. Pay attention to Morning Star and other methods of predicting how the company performs over the next 3, 5, 10 years. The higher the rate of the company in Morning Star, the better the chances are of the company having some stability and growth, the more the stock may cost, the more return you get on your investment. The lower the rates, well…you follow.
  9. There are other ratings and such to pay attention to to determine how well your stock will perform. When I say perform, I mean today, let’s say a stock of Apple is $50 (I wish!) but tomorrow, with the release of new iPhones and iPads, the stock may very well shoot through the roof to $200, making it suck for you because you didn’t buy the stock sooner and making it pay day for folks who did purchase sooner! There are documents called apparatuses that come with each company stock you purchase. All about reading it!

This checklist may get you a B- in accounting. There’s certainly more to stocks than what I stated here but I hope you are a little more familiar with it and how it works.

Well there was my little spill on financial health. I certainly had to learn things about money and finance the hard way too. TRUST ME!

So if you have some financial troubles, they are not as bad as you think if you cut some of the non-necessities out of the picture. You just may see a world of difference!

Thanks!